Paolo Sambrano: Bi-Poseur September 9, 2010

Paolo thinks he's going to die. And not just quietly in his sleep when he's 87 either. He's convinced that the blood clot in his leg is going to make its way into his chest, causing a major heart attack, which would kill Paolo instantly at his desk, while he was updating his status on Facebook. And this is all assuming that Paolo doesn't kill himself first. Either by finally manning up and slitting his wrists (just making sure to avoid the tendons to retain use of his hands if he screws up) or maybe jumping in front of a BART train (although he doesn't wanna be remembered as the ass who got the trains delayed). But first, he has to write the perfect suicide note, which he can't seem to do.