Mystery method - The Problem with the 'Who Lies More' Opener September 19, 2007

The Problem with the 'Who Lies More' Opener
by Style

Whenever I'm winging workshops, and I go around the room and ask guys what opener they use, half of them say, "Who lies more, men or women?" And then I see them go out and use it that night, and half the women usually respond by either by asking, "Why are you asking us this?" or "Are you taking a survey or something." Or by just giving them bad body language and trying to end the conversation as soon as possible, then laughing at them behind their back.

I remember the opener suddenly appearing in the community like a year and a half ago, and can't remember who made it up, though I think it was a workshop student. And it is a great opener to learn, because it's so short.

The problem is, it's imperfect and incomplete. There's a subtlety to any opinion opener: There must be a reason why you're asking it
In other words, you can't just walk up to a group and ask a random question for no purpose. It's weird. You need to root it in the time and place. For example, when I use the jealous girlfriend opener, I mention that I'm asking because I just got a phone call from my brother about it or "we were trying to give my friend over there advice." When I do the spells routine, I say it's about "my friend Will, who isn't out with us tonight because he's with this girl." You must roof your opener to make it a valid reason to approach a group.

Maybe some people who use Who Lies More actually give it a context, but no one I've heard. So if you are going to continue to use this opener, you must modify it, or find a new one. Examples of roots for the Who Lies More opener include:

"I was reading Esquire today and they did this study, and guess what the results were? My friends and I have been debating about it all day. We disagree." OR, "My friend over there just broke up with his girlfriend because she kept lying to him about little things. And we thought it was funny, because guys are the ones who have the reputation for lying. But now he thinks women are worse. So we're trying to save him from being bitter about women for the rest of his life. Only you can help save him from ending up a lonely, miserable old man, eating dog food in a studio apartment downtown."

These are just random roots I've put into the opener, off the top of my head. I'll field test them and, in the meantime, if anyone field tests a rooted version of Who Lies More and it works as solidly as everything else, please let me know. Let's complete this opener so that everyone can start using it correctly and effectively.

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