Gravy Train!!!!, Kill Me Tomorrow, Dance Disaster Movement, VIP August 2, 2005

KISSATLANTA.COM and Tight Bros Network present:

GRAVY TRAIN!!!

GRAVY TRAIN!!!! is the bitter brainchild of Chunx, your standard honky ho, who obsessed over JJ Fad lyrics ('I seen better pictures on a can of Alpo'), bitched about tiny-donged menz, and suffered from the frightening split affliction of burgerphilia/nymphomania. Funx soon stepped in with her winning Casio beats, frighteningly stark-faced and sexually obscene dance moves, and Spanish flair (but NOT in a Santana featuring Matchbox 20's Rob Thomas sorta way). Requiring a visual to beef up the riddimz, dancers Hunx and Drunx were quickly recruited. With strikingly similar (hard)bodies and matching hungers for humps, they provided flawless accompaniment. Hunx, with his bootylicious bear hats, is starved for rich-boy gravy and bored with beaver (a refreshing change in the mainstream hip-hop world). Even so, Drunx's intense dance face and unabashed hornball moves make him bend over and take it from a certifiably bigtime Pennsylvania import with hot shoulders and a hotter ability to fuck any man up his virgin poopchute and make him LOVE IT. (NOT that Hunx's roo has EVER been virgin!)

You go to a show but you didn?t realize that you would be entering a dance party where all the people are moving harder than disco freaks in a B-52?s music video. At the forefront is a two piece clad in white pumping out aggressive break beats and sultry rhythms. The sound comes at you like shotgun blasts with keyboards, guitar, percussions, and vocals. As you move closer to the stage, you see the singer in the middle of robotic seizures and steps that look as if you are watching Iggy Pop and Bugaloo Shrimp simultaneously on the same screen. They call themselves DDM, otherwise known as Dance Disaster Movement.